overdue update

Hey! So, it's been a while! I have been trying to be a 'normal' mom/wife again, but man, I'm still tired!! I started a boot-camp class to try to start losing some of this baby weight that is still hanging around on my belly and thighs, and this class is at 530 am, so that probably isn't helping my fatigue. Plus, I'm back to working 2-12 hour night shifts every weekend, so I'm tired from that too. It's great to be back at work....doing what I love, and making some money helps too. :)

I had an Ultrasound of the blood vessels in my neck/chest last Thursday, and that afternoon, Dr. Anderson called me to tell me that the blood clot is still there in my internal jugular vein, but the clots in my subclavian are totally dissolved. So, bad news: I have to continue Lovenox shots for 4-6 more months. Boo. He said that I could switch to Coumadin (a pill), but that is so hard to control the levels (blood draws constantly) and certain foods and medications interact with Coumadin, so I chose to stay on the Lovenox. Not the end of the world, but I was hoping that my stomach could have a break from looking like one big bruise.

Other than the fatigue still hanging around and shooting my belly everyday, I feel like I am starting to get back to normal, sort of. I still have weird pangs of pain in my chest, especially with deep breaths, but i have a feeling that I will have that forever due to the scar tissue that is and will always be hanging out in there. My eyelashes and eyebrows are growing back in, and I actually had my hair cut and highlighted on last Monday. I really like my new hair, and get a lot of compliments on how it 'shapes my face' and how 'sassy' it is. :) I really like being called 'sassy' because i don't really feel like I am a sassy girl!! :)

Emotionally, I feel like I am starting to feel the anxiety that I never felt when I was going through all of the treatments/tests etc. Now, I don't know if it is some postpartum anxiety coming on again (I had problems with this after having Collin, and it was around the 7 month mark then too) or a combination of cancer and postpartum together. The anxiety comes in many forms for me - anxiety about the cancer coming back, about getting other cancers, about other family members and their health, about being a good mom and wife, about little things like housework and being unorganized. I have a hard time letting go of this and giving up to God. At times I get so overwhelmed, that all I can do is take a few deep breaths and just pray that God gets me through.

So, my prayer requests are this: for my anxiety and that I can trust wholly and completely in God's plan for my life, and that I have the energy and motivation to be the wife and mom that my family needs.

2) prayers of praise for my friend in Ohio, Laura, who has been going through these treatments with me and just got the "all clear" from her Dr. Love you Laura!!!

3) prayers for a girl in DC who is in the same boat that I was- 33 weeks pregnant and diagnosed with Lymphoma. Prayers for wisdom for the dr's and the decisions of when to deliver the baby and start her treatments etc.

Have a great week, everyone. I thank you all for reading this and praying for me. :)