Blah

Well, one good day, one blah day....

Yesterday I felt so great that I probably over-did things, so this morning when I woke up, I felt kind of blah. I was having some friends over for a playdate this morning, so that helped me feel better, but once they all left, I kind of felt like a train had run me over. So, off to bed I went, which was not comfortable with this crazy port in my neck....a little more painful again today, but once again, I don't take the advice of "rest" very well. (my husband says I'm stubborn...I don't know if I agree...) My appetite isn't the greatest today either. BUT, I'm not nauseous at all, which is an answer to prayer. I guess the best way to describe how I feel today is like I have the flu - really achy (spelling??) and tired. I shouldn't complain - there are a couple of other girls I have come to know that aren't faring so well with their chemo, so I should be grateful that these are the only side effects so far. (and it's probably my own fault for not "taking it easy.")

So, tomorrow night Mike and I are supposed to go see Wicked...I'm super excited and we have been wanting to see it for years and it's finally in Milwaukee!! So, that is our belated anniversary gift to each other. I hope I feel well enough tomorrow night to enjoy myself. Have a great weekend everyone!

round 3 of chemo complete!

Hey y'all - well, my port is feeling much much better. Yay! It worked great for chemo yesterday and it started feeling less sore yesterday afternoon. So, I tried to sleep in my bed last night and woke up with it pretty sore again today. But, not nearly as sore as before, so I went about my normal activities....I actually had a lot of energy this morning so I cleaned, baked some zucchini bread with the plentiful zucchini from our garden, and had coffee with a great friend from work. Overall, it was a fabulous morning.

I had to go back into the dr's office today for the rest of my chemo (yesterday they started the Bleomycin, but they only gave me a test dose to see if I would have any reactions to it...I didn't, so I had to go back in today to get the full dose). They also started me on Neulasta since my white blood cells are pretty low and they don't want me getting sick. Anyways, since this dr's visit would be short, I decided to take Hannah with me. She sat in the recliner with me while I got the rest of my chemo, and we worked on a little workbook called "When someone I love has cancer." It was given to her in a backpack from the cancer center with all sorts of crafty things and a stuffed animal...super cute and thoughtful. Anyways, it's a little workbook that explains to kids what cancer is and how it is fixed and the different emotions that go with it. All in all, Hannah totally understands and we had nice mom/daughter time. I feel like it's important these days to have those one-on-one times with her - she sees me tired and I can't give her my full attention, especially with a new baby and all of the dr. appointments, so those special times with her mean a lot.

Well, my energy has finally hit it's peak for the day and I'm ready to go lay on the couch. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers....they are totally working!!! Much love to you all!

Ouch

So, I had my port placed today - and all I can say is "Ouch". I feel like I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but yep, this one hurts. I'm very very grateful to whoever was brilliant enough to invent pain pills, but even those aren't taking away all of the pain. So, I'm off to laying, rather propping myself up on the couch with lots of pillows and a bag of frozen veggies on my neck. It will be great for chemo tomorrow to have this - no more pokes for blood draws or iv's!!!!! Yay! Mike will have to drop me off and pick me up tomorrow since I will be doped up on meds, but I'm looking forward to their comfy recliner and peace and quiet listening to my iPod. :) Anyways, I'll update again later this week, but just wanted to let you all know that everything went fine today. AND, my headaches are much better lately - thanks for praying!!!! Have a great night!

Mood swings

Momma with her 3 kiddos :)

So, I apologize in advance for a not-so-positive blog post, but I'm struggling today a little bit. I have tried so hard to remain positive through all of this, but today it seems to have caught up with me. Who knows if this is all because of my hormones post-baby or stress just getting the best of me, but I'm not having a great day today. I'm hoping that venting a little bit here will help, so bear with me.

First, I've been struggling with headaches since Micah was born, and I remember (more like Mike reminds me) that I had these after the other 2 kids too, but these headaches seem to be a little bit more debilitating that others. Tylenol and Motrin are not helping at all, and I refuse to take anything stronger because then I just waste more time sleeping. So, I'm asking for prayers that my headaches will go away soon.

Second, I am pretty sure that my hair is starting to fall out. My head (this isn't helping my headache either) feels like I've had a pony tail in too tight for too long - you know that feeling when you take it out and your hair hurts?? That's how my whole head feels right now and when I rake my fingers through it, I get at least 10 hairs in my hand. This isn't really helping my mood either. I knew it was going to happen, but it still stinks when it actually does happen.

And selfishly, third, I feel like this whole Hodgkins disease is stealing my summer from me and my maternity leave from me. I guess I thought I could pop out a baby and feel normal again right away and enjoy my summer and my baby, but today my energy is gone. I try to "take it easy" like everyone tells me to do, but then I have to admit to myself that I have cancer and I can't do everything that I want to do. So I force myself to get up and do something, but then just get more tired in the process.

BUT, in all of this, I have to remind myself of all of the blessings I have in my life. There are too many to type out, but here are the highlights:

*I have a God that loves me and takes care of me no matter what, and He has complete control over all of this.

*I have a wonderful, loving husband who has more energy than I can imagine right now, who doesn't need to be asked to do laundry, clean or love our children.

*I have 3 beautiful children who love me with hair or no hair.

*Our house is still standing despite our tree falling on it last night, we have a dry basement after 8 inches of rain, and we have air-conditioning. :)

*We have a support-system of family and friends that overwhelms me everyday with loving words and actions.

OK, I feel better already - I guess it is expected to have ups and downs through all of this, but sometimes its hard to admit that I'm human and am having a crummy day. I hope and pray that you all have a great weekend. --Kara

Good news!!!!! I had a follow-up ultrasound of the veins in my neck to see if those clots were still there, and they are gone!!! Yay!!!! I won't have to have Lovenox shots (yaya!!!) and I get to have my port put in my chest on Tuesday morning!!! I never thought I would be so excited to have another painful procedure! ;) Dr. Anderson said that my labs looked great and the tumor is probably much smaller already. Crazy! So, I'll have the port put in on Tuesday and they can use it already on Wednesday for my next round of chemo. No more IV's and lab pokes - they can do it all with the port! :):)
We had family in town this week to visit - Mike's brother, his wife and their 2 girls - so much fun to hang out with them and for the kiddos to play with their cousins. We were supposed to be camping with them this summer, but that obviously didn't happen, so it was great to have them in town for a few days.
Micah also had a dr's appointment this morning and he is up to 7 lbs., so he is doing great. We don't have to see the Dr. again for him for 2 months! :) He's been sleeping a lot still, but seems to like to be awake at night....hmmm....Mom and Dad don't enjoy that so much. :)
Well, hope you all have a great weekend!!

2nd round of chemo is in...

Hey everyone - sorry I havent' updated in a little while. Things are a little busy around here with another babe thrown into the mix! Micah has been doing well - we were a little concerned because on Monday we saw the ped. and he was still losing weight, but we had another appt this morning and he is finally gaining, so that's great news. He's been a great baby otherwise - he sleeps great and doesn't fuss during the day at all, which is soooo nice. Mike and I have been able to take turns at night, too, because of the formula thing, which has been nice for me. :)

I had my 2nd round of chemo yesterday, which went quite well. They still kept out the Bleomycin because of the risk of lung problems with that drug, and they want to shrink the tumor a little bit more so that I don't have ANY shortness of breath before starting that drug. So I had just the AVD yesterday again. I asked the nurse if I would get more nauseous the further along I get with treatment and/or with the addition of the Bleo, since I didn't get sick the first time, and she said nope, since I didn't get sick, I should be good. That was great news to me. They also gave me the steroids again yesterday, so I was ready for another sleepless night, but I slept like a baby last night!!! So hopefully I won't have as much fatigue this time either. YAY!

I talked with Dr. Anderson yesterday too, and he is still concerned about these clots I have in my jugular and subclavian veins/arteries, so I have to have another ultrasound next week to see if I will have to be put on Lovenox to get rid of them. He wants to make sure there is some blood flow on both sides before he puts the port for my chemo on the right side. Hopefully with the tumor shrinking, the veins/arteries of my heart are less compressed and I will have more blood flow pressure up through my jugular and subclavian to open them up a little. We'll have to see what the test shows next week. I will also need a PET scan in the next couple of weeks to see if there are any more tumors in the rest of my body, but he wants to wait a little bit until I'm a little further along postpartum-wise.

Postpartum-wise, I feel great. I had a few rough days when I came home from the hospital - Mike said this happened with the other kids too, I just don't remember. I'm not sore at all anymore and feel pretty much back to normal. I'm still having headaches, but I'm pretty sure that could be from a combination of hormones, stress, and the crazy clots in my neck. Other than that, I can't complain. :)

Hannah and Collin have been pretty good with Micah around - Hannah loves to just sit and look at him and she was so excited to hold him the other day. Collin - yikes. He's a bruiser and loves to touch Micah, but we are still working on "gentle touches." We definitely can't leave the 2 of them in a room alone yet!!

Well, thanks for all of your thoughts, prayers and notes of encouragement. Things are going much better than I could have ever hoped for, and this has to be from all of your prayers for sure!!! Much love from the VanderVliet family of 5!

Micah James

Micah James was born on Thursday at 2:08 pm at 6lbs. 11oz. and 20 inches long. We both came home today (Saturday) and are doing well. Feeding is a little bit of a struggle for our little guy - he didn't want to keep anything down for the first couple of days, but now he's getting the hang of it after we switched to soy formula and got him pooping. ;) I'll post more maybe tomorrow, but I just wanted to update quick tonight. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. God blessed us with an easy, quick delivery and a healthy, beautiful baby boy. God is so good.

Oh Baby!!!

No, we have not had the baby yet, but I go in tomorrow morning at 7 to be induced! I was 2cm dilated last night at the Dr.'s office and 70% effaced, so making good progress already without any drugs, so hopefully things will go smoothly and fast! ;) I just got off of the phone with Dr. Anderson (oncologist) and he said that my labs looked fine this morning, so we are good to go. Can I just say - I have wonderful doctors. Dr. Lee (OB) picked out a special nurse for me for tomorrow and has talked to all of the anesthesiologists/specialists already, and Dr. Anderson just calls to check in to see how I'm doing...I seriously can't ask for better care.
Well, I just wanted to write a quick update before we go in tomorrow - I'll try to post as soon as I can once baby arrives. So excited to meet this little one!!! I've already been blessed with 2 beautiful children, and can't wait to see what God has in store for our family of 5! Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers - I can feel them all! I'm feeling very calm and confident about all of this and looking forward to the joy that a new baby brings. Much love, Kara

Feeling Good...

This is my wig...seriously, it looks like my normal hair!!!!!!

Hey Everyone - I just wanted to write a quick update to let you all know that I am feeling great....I was really tired on Thursday and Friday, mostly because I hadn't slept that Wednesday night. I haven't had any nausea at all, which is such an answer to prayer. I was worried that I would be so wiped out by the time Thursday came around for the induction, but I don't think that will be the case. Today (Saturday) I am feeling pretty normal! It's crazy to think that I had chemo on Wednesday!! I'm looking forward to going to a couple parades with the fam this weekend - and getting all of the baby stuff washed and ready for Thursday!!! Crazy! I'm going to try to post a picture of my new wig - I don't need it yet, but will be getting my hair chopped off on Tuesday just so that it isn't so traumatic when it starts to fall out since it is pretty long now. Anyways, I hope and pray that you all have a great 4th weekend. Thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers...God is good and blesses us each and every day!

So, today my girlfriends took me to Racine to get a wig - it was awesome...the lady had picked out the perfect wig for me - seriously, it's the same color as my hair and a super cute cut so it looks pretty natural. I'm pretty pumped to have a nice looking wig...why does hair have to be such a big deal??? So, hopefully I can get my hair chopped soon so that when it falls out it won't be so traumatic for me and the kiddos.
I still feel great today - no nausea whatsoever. I've eaten like normal and even had an oreo shake from culvers this afternoon :) I'm pretty tired so I'm hoping that I can sleep well tonight, but other than that, can't complain, which is such an answer to prayer.
We just had a great meal brought over by the Kovals - thanks Margaret!!! We are so blessed with people that are more than willing to help out in any way. Seriously, I can't say thank you enough, and I'm already behind in writing thank you notes, so just know that you are all appreciated!!!
Well, we are off to the park tonight. It's been such gorgeous weather so we are trying to take full advantage of it. Love you all, Kara