Clogged veins....

Hey all - well, Friday's ultrasound showed that my 'vasculature' or veins in my chest are too congested right now to put the port in due to the pressure that the tumor is causing on my blood vessels to my heart. So, no port until they can shrink the tumor a little bit to relieve the pressure, which Dr. Anderson is confident can happen within a few weeks of chemo. Also, they found a clot in my jugular vein, which freaks me out a little bit, but they said not to worry about it yet as it's just from slow/congested blood flow from the pressure. I worry more about pushing with labor and having a clot, so I talked to Dr. Lee (OB) about it and he's going to talk to the surgeon about it and let me know. C-section still might be the end result...we'll see.
So, this week I have my first chemo treatment on Wednesday - 3 hours. I guess they aren't usually that long, but this includes teaching so it's longer than normal. I've saved my coupons to cut and my magazines to read for until then... :) Dr. Lee says that most likely if my blood counts are ok, we will be inducing labor on the 8th of July then so that I will be 36.5 weeks along and a week out of chemo. Collin had his 2 year well-baby visit today with the pediatrician so I explained to him that he will have another patient next week, and he's confident that everything will be fine....and St. Joe's has a great NICU if we need it.
Emotionally I've been really labile lately....one minute I will be fine and then the next minute fighting tears. I'm having trouble sleeping because I can't seem to turn my brain off, which is frustrating and leaves me even more tired during the day. I want to pray, but a lot of times I don't even know what to say, so I really appreciate everyone praying on my behalf. I swear that I'm more short of breath lately, but I don't know if it's from anxiety, or actually knowing that I have a huge mass in my chest, or from the baby growing or a combination of all of these things. I guess I'm just ready to get started with getting rid of this thing in me (tumor) and meeting my new little bundle (baby), and am just sad that they have to be at the same time.
Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers....sorry if I don't respond to your messages or emails...there are just too many to keep up - I would be on the computer all day and I'm trying to savor my 'healthy' time with my kiddos and hubby right now instead of sitting on the computer. Love you all, Kara