Hey all - So I just wanted to give you a quick update before the big stuff starts happening again! First of all, we had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. We hope that all of you enjoyed celebrating Jesus' birthday with us!
I am feeling pretty much back to normal! I had a cold over Christmas, but now that that is clearing up, I feel like I have my energy back (almost completely). :) So, I decided to go back to work starting this Saturday, which is the 1st of the year. I figured I might as well get a shift in before I start radiation, which is Monday the 3rd. Monday will be a trial run and then Tuesday will be the actual radiation. I'm excited to start this and be done with it all!
So just a few requests for prayer: 1)that my "nurse brain" comes back when I go back to work on Saturday...I have been off since mid-June and I worry that I have forgotten everything!
2) that I don't get too pooped working all night on Saturday so that I have energy to take care of the kids again on Monday and 3) that radiation will go well with minimal side effects.
Thanks again for following my blog and for praying for me and my family....we all appreciate it! :)
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
An early Christmas present...
Well, my first Christmas present is that Collin is trying to potty train himself, which is a lot of work, but will be wonderful to only have 1 child in diapers!!!!
But on to the better Christmas present....my PET scan was 100% cancer free!!!! It showed no activity anywhere, so that is the best news I could get. It still showed a decent sized mass under my sternum, but that will be there with me forever...it's just scar tissue. Thanks to the PET scan, they now know that it is dead tissue - non-cancerous! We truly serve an awesome God!
So, my radiation starts after the new year. I had my tattoos and molding done on Wednesday with my PET scan....that was an interesting day. The worst part by far was this cage they built for my head. They put this wet, flexible plastic thing over my face and snap it into place on this brace behind my head. This wet thing then dries, and makes a mold of my face that I have to wear during radiation so that i don't move my head/neck at all. It's not so bad for a few minutes, but I had to wear that thing for a long time during my CT/PET scan....I started to get claustrophobic, but I couldn't move at all b/c they were doing the scan. Oh well - at least its over now. Plus, they neglected to tell me that I would be radioactive for 6 hours after my scan....so while I'm there, they are like..."Now, you can't be by any pregnant women or infants for the rest of the day." Hmmm...how am I supposed to go home and take care of Micah?? Thankfully, the babysitter that was here watching all of them took him home with her for the afternoon. I wouldn't have even been able to hold him or feed him!!! I guess I had heard (from Laura's blog) that you shouldn't be by kids, but I didn't know what the extent of it was and they hadn't said anything to me prior to the test, so I didn't really think about it too much. Anyways, thanks to Rachel for taking Micah so that he didn't get zapped! :)
Well, now that I have the results of my scan, I feel like I can take a deep breath again. I was so nervous and anxious that my scan would show cancer everywhere...brain, spine, bone. Irrational, I know, especially after having 6 months of chemo. But your brain starts doing crazy things when you have been told that you have cancer. I'm starting to get some of my energy back....I don't wake up every morning exhausted anymore. It helps that Micah is starting to sleep a little bit better at night, too. So, we will see what my energy is like during radiation and especially when I go back to work in January.
I hope and pray that all of you that read this will have a wonderful Christmas. I know I sure will. Much love to you!!
But on to the better Christmas present....my PET scan was 100% cancer free!!!! It showed no activity anywhere, so that is the best news I could get. It still showed a decent sized mass under my sternum, but that will be there with me forever...it's just scar tissue. Thanks to the PET scan, they now know that it is dead tissue - non-cancerous! We truly serve an awesome God!
So, my radiation starts after the new year. I had my tattoos and molding done on Wednesday with my PET scan....that was an interesting day. The worst part by far was this cage they built for my head. They put this wet, flexible plastic thing over my face and snap it into place on this brace behind my head. This wet thing then dries, and makes a mold of my face that I have to wear during radiation so that i don't move my head/neck at all. It's not so bad for a few minutes, but I had to wear that thing for a long time during my CT/PET scan....I started to get claustrophobic, but I couldn't move at all b/c they were doing the scan. Oh well - at least its over now. Plus, they neglected to tell me that I would be radioactive for 6 hours after my scan....so while I'm there, they are like..."Now, you can't be by any pregnant women or infants for the rest of the day." Hmmm...how am I supposed to go home and take care of Micah?? Thankfully, the babysitter that was here watching all of them took him home with her for the afternoon. I wouldn't have even been able to hold him or feed him!!! I guess I had heard (from Laura's blog) that you shouldn't be by kids, but I didn't know what the extent of it was and they hadn't said anything to me prior to the test, so I didn't really think about it too much. Anyways, thanks to Rachel for taking Micah so that he didn't get zapped! :)
Well, now that I have the results of my scan, I feel like I can take a deep breath again. I was so nervous and anxious that my scan would show cancer everywhere...brain, spine, bone. Irrational, I know, especially after having 6 months of chemo. But your brain starts doing crazy things when you have been told that you have cancer. I'm starting to get some of my energy back....I don't wake up every morning exhausted anymore. It helps that Micah is starting to sleep a little bit better at night, too. So, we will see what my energy is like during radiation and especially when I go back to work in January.
I hope and pray that all of you that read this will have a wonderful Christmas. I know I sure will. Much love to you!!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Mountains
What's the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?? Is it your morning coffee? Is it grumbling because your kids got up too early? Or is it praise to our Maker for giving another day of Life to serve Him? I wish I could say that was the first thing I think of lately....lately, I wake up wondering what mountains God is going to give me to climb that day. It seems like sometimes God gives us mountains - Mt. Everest type mountains - not just the rolling hills of the Smokies- to climb. In my humanity, I wish God would just move those mountains so that I don't have to climb them myself. But really, I'm not climbing them myself, am I?? Isaiah 7:14 says "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and you will call him Immanuel, God with us." God with us - God is climbing with us. What a great encouragement on days where our mountains seem impossible to climb. We are not alone. God loves us so much that he sent his Son to become human, to experience what it's like to suffer, so that we wouldn't have to do it alone. Wow, what a gift.
I've had a trying couple of days...I've been having a lot of anxiety about different things lately, and then yesterday spent the day at Children's Hospital with Micah because he fell out of his Bumbo seat off of the kitchen counter. Everything is fine, thankfully. This morning I woke up and was thankful that today could only be better. So, in these days of stress and anxiety, whether that is from the holidays, illness, loneliness, financial concerns - whatever - let's try to focus on God's gift to us. When we do this, it changes our perspective and helps us see how many gifts and blessings we have in our life. Our mountains just don't seem that big anymore, do they??
I've had a trying couple of days...I've been having a lot of anxiety about different things lately, and then yesterday spent the day at Children's Hospital with Micah because he fell out of his Bumbo seat off of the kitchen counter. Everything is fine, thankfully. This morning I woke up and was thankful that today could only be better. So, in these days of stress and anxiety, whether that is from the holidays, illness, loneliness, financial concerns - whatever - let's try to focus on God's gift to us. When we do this, it changes our perspective and helps us see how many gifts and blessings we have in our life. Our mountains just don't seem that big anymore, do they??
Saturday, December 4, 2010
CHEMO IS FINISHED!!!!!
I am officially done with chemo!!!!! I'm sorry I didn't blog about this sooner....still crawling out of my hole from Wednesday's chemo. I felt better with this last round...still not great, but not nearly as bad as the last couple of treatments had been. I am so grateful for that!
So, I have my PET scan scheduled for Dec. 15th, and an appointment with Dr. Anderson on the 17th to go over the results. Most likely I will have an appointment with Dr. Blacher (radiation oncologist) before Christmas to get my mold and tattoos done, so that radiation can start on Jan. 3. A few people have told me to get a tattoo once all of this is said and done....no need! I'll have a bunch on my chest to remind me forever! :)
I am so excited to be over and done with all of this...to have my hair back (it's growing back already....I have about 1/2" over my head!), to have my energy back, to feel like a 'normal' mom again, and to exercise again (crazy, I know). Mike and I are dreaming up a vacation to celebrate......we'll see if it actually happens!
Have a great weekend everyone! :)
So, I have my PET scan scheduled for Dec. 15th, and an appointment with Dr. Anderson on the 17th to go over the results. Most likely I will have an appointment with Dr. Blacher (radiation oncologist) before Christmas to get my mold and tattoos done, so that radiation can start on Jan. 3. A few people have told me to get a tattoo once all of this is said and done....no need! I'll have a bunch on my chest to remind me forever! :)
I am so excited to be over and done with all of this...to have my hair back (it's growing back already....I have about 1/2" over my head!), to have my energy back, to feel like a 'normal' mom again, and to exercise again (crazy, I know). Mike and I are dreaming up a vacation to celebrate......we'll see if it actually happens!
Have a great weekend everyone! :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Good News!!
So, yay for Chemo #11 being done....only 1 more to go!!!!!!! I'm so excited, I don't really care how I feel right now! (it helps that my in-laws are here so I am fully rested for the first time in a long long time!!!!)
The pulmonary function test that I had on Monday looked absolutely normal, so Dr. Anderson continued to give me the Bleomycin...he said I was most likely feeling a little short of breath because I was a little anemic and the fatigue has really set in, plus anxiety. So, he gave me some anxiety drugs to take....I don't know how I feel about this, but if they help me sleep, then I'm all for it!! :) The anemia is also a good excuse to eat up more beef (it's crazy how your body craves what you need...I've totally been wanting beef lately, and I usually don't like to eat it all that much!!).
I met with the radiation oncologist today - Dr. Blacher. he was wonderful and said that depending on my PET scan, which is scheduled for Dec. 15, I will most likely start radiation on Jan. 3 and have 17-20 treatments, which is 3 1/2 to 4 weeks of 5/day and week radiation. He said that the side effects from radiation will be a piece of cake compared to chemo, and most patients start to feel better during radiation! Yay!
Can you tell I'm a little excited to be done with all of this?? I'm really really looking forward to having some energy back...even though they all keep warning me that it doesn't happen overnight! Thanks again for all of your prayers....I really really appreciate it!
The pulmonary function test that I had on Monday looked absolutely normal, so Dr. Anderson continued to give me the Bleomycin...he said I was most likely feeling a little short of breath because I was a little anemic and the fatigue has really set in, plus anxiety. So, he gave me some anxiety drugs to take....I don't know how I feel about this, but if they help me sleep, then I'm all for it!! :) The anemia is also a good excuse to eat up more beef (it's crazy how your body craves what you need...I've totally been wanting beef lately, and I usually don't like to eat it all that much!!).
I met with the radiation oncologist today - Dr. Blacher. he was wonderful and said that depending on my PET scan, which is scheduled for Dec. 15, I will most likely start radiation on Jan. 3 and have 17-20 treatments, which is 3 1/2 to 4 weeks of 5/day and week radiation. He said that the side effects from radiation will be a piece of cake compared to chemo, and most patients start to feel better during radiation! Yay!
Can you tell I'm a little excited to be done with all of this?? I'm really really looking forward to having some energy back...even though they all keep warning me that it doesn't happen overnight! Thanks again for all of your prayers....I really really appreciate it!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
more tests....
Hey all - just a quick update. Thanks for all of your kind words and prayers....I have been feeling less anxious and depressed lately, so your prayers are working!
I have to go in first thing tomorrow morning (Monday) for another pulmonary function test (this measures how well my lungs are working). I have been having pain in my chest for about a month now. It had been intermittent, but now it is becoming more constant. It feels like I am running outside in the cold air all of the time....weird. It started to bother me more last week so I called the Dr. and he wants to make sure my "PFT's" haven't gotten worse. If they have, he most likely won't give me the Bleomycin for my last 2 chemo treatments as this drug causes pulmonary fibrosis (thickening/hardening of the lung tissue that causes pain, shortness of breath etc.). I would really appreciate not having to be diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis as a lot of times, this becomes something you fight for the rest of your life...it usually isn't reversible.
So, if you think about it, just send out a quick prayer for me tomorrow morning...Thanks!!
I have to go in first thing tomorrow morning (Monday) for another pulmonary function test (this measures how well my lungs are working). I have been having pain in my chest for about a month now. It had been intermittent, but now it is becoming more constant. It feels like I am running outside in the cold air all of the time....weird. It started to bother me more last week so I called the Dr. and he wants to make sure my "PFT's" haven't gotten worse. If they have, he most likely won't give me the Bleomycin for my last 2 chemo treatments as this drug causes pulmonary fibrosis (thickening/hardening of the lung tissue that causes pain, shortness of breath etc.). I would really appreciate not having to be diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis as a lot of times, this becomes something you fight for the rest of your life...it usually isn't reversible.
So, if you think about it, just send out a quick prayer for me tomorrow morning...Thanks!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
In need of prayer...
Hey all - So, I'm now officially dreading my last 2 chemo treatments. I can't say that I ever dreaded the last 10, but I am really really not looking forward to the last 2. This last treatment totally threw me under the rug....I guess the thing the bothered me the most was admitting that I can't do it all myself anymore. I can't function with the horrible body aches and migraines that start after my Neulasta shot unless I take a pain pill, which then I can't safely take care of my kids. Frustrating. Today in our Coffeebreak group we were studying the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, and the Pharisee was too proud to admit his own sin. Well, I guess I was/am too proud to admit that I need help and can't be the mom/wife/friend that I want to be, even when I know that people want to help and would be blessed in doing so. So, that is the first request for prayer tonight....that I would accept help without feeling guilty, and that the pain would not be as bad after these last 2 treatments.
The second request for prayer is for my anxiety and fear. I can honestly say that up until now, I have not been fearful or anxious about anything (in relation to having cancer). But all of a sudden in these past few weeks, my emotions are all over the place and I start thinking about the 'what ifs.' Like, "what if the tumor doesn't go away or starts to grow back, or what if the PET scan shows cancer all over the place?" Then of course it snowballs into much worse things... So, please just pray that the anxiety and fear would be lifted from my shoulders, and that the chemo does its job so that those worries don't become reality.
The third and last request for prayer is just for my strength and energy. I like to think that I try to stay active and healthy, but I have really noticed that my strength and energy level is not what it was. I have not been able to exercise like I would want to, and so my body just doesn't feel as strong. I can't even open a bottle of apple juice for the kids!! Hopefully once this is all done, I can resume a more active lifestyle again and my strength will come back.
Well, I'm sorry that this is sort of a depressing plea for prayer....I'm sending up prayers of praise for a new friend of mine who just finished her chemo for Hodgkins...we were diagnosed at the same time. My tumor was bigger than hers, so I require more chemo. Congrats, Laura!!!
Love from Wisconsin, Kara
The second request for prayer is for my anxiety and fear. I can honestly say that up until now, I have not been fearful or anxious about anything (in relation to having cancer). But all of a sudden in these past few weeks, my emotions are all over the place and I start thinking about the 'what ifs.' Like, "what if the tumor doesn't go away or starts to grow back, or what if the PET scan shows cancer all over the place?" Then of course it snowballs into much worse things... So, please just pray that the anxiety and fear would be lifted from my shoulders, and that the chemo does its job so that those worries don't become reality.
The third and last request for prayer is just for my strength and energy. I like to think that I try to stay active and healthy, but I have really noticed that my strength and energy level is not what it was. I have not been able to exercise like I would want to, and so my body just doesn't feel as strong. I can't even open a bottle of apple juice for the kids!! Hopefully once this is all done, I can resume a more active lifestyle again and my strength will come back.
Well, I'm sorry that this is sort of a depressing plea for prayer....I'm sending up prayers of praise for a new friend of mine who just finished her chemo for Hodgkins...we were diagnosed at the same time. My tumor was bigger than hers, so I require more chemo. Congrats, Laura!!!
Love from Wisconsin, Kara
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